Laughter is contagious too so... let's do this!
Hey I've missed you! Let's chat and catch up! I'll tell you how I'm doing amid the apocalypse as I drive on the freeways during the lock-down "shelter-in-place" mandate that has gone into effect!
I went on a crazy mission. Join me.
Do you know I forgot it's St. Patrick's Day? It's more like St. Virus's day...shit...
These are the clouds I saw on the drive that weirded me out:
Just venting and rambling about what's been going on with me. I'm in here cussing like a sailor...and I sound all severe..but yeah.. business as usual. Not a huge amount of value to add in this one.
I give three choices for my next challenge and could use your feedback on which one to do! Let me know on my facebook page.
Also, I'm performing tonight in Oakland so come on out!
Town Business (a HellaFunny production)
Comedy Night at 8 pm, Tues., Feb. 11
Copper Spoon Cocktails and Kitchen
4031 Broadway, Oakland
Free if you RSVP on FunCheapSF.com
or $10 at the door
TGIF! Relax and party with me and let's let these positive affirmations for self-love by Louise Hay sink right into our negative brains.
(There are some technical audio difficulties in the beginning but they get worked out so just get through it.)
Let's get wild and love ourselves.
I read an article on how to overcome self-doubt and I talk about my obsession with death-related subjects like this Kobe helicopter crash that's got me all freaked out about aviation again.
Thank you for joining me and Happy Hump Day, ya horny, humpin' bastards!
I get on a roll about roller derby, muse about sexual matters, finish reading Leo's damn article, and talk about other personal matters.
We keep talking about self-confidence because it helps us in life (personally and professionally) to develop the habit of building, feeling, and expressing confidence.
..and I know I made a mistake with the Walt Disney quote. There were only 4 C’s because he said confident twice.
Thanks for joining me, Fuckface..
This is a NSFW (Not Safe for Wimps) podcast. Sometimes I talk about your dad's little dick.
But mainly, I continue assessing a good list I found on ways to build our self-confidence. Your Dad should give it a listen. I sound slightly less crazy in this one (I think). I definitely sound less angry. I'm reading through the list of ways we can feel (or project) self-confidence and realizing that it's good to practice these items regularly. It really is a good list.
And of course, I interject raunchy and sexual humor throughout to keep it lively and wild.
Join me as I attempt to read an interesting and helpful article about self-confidence ....but get distracted and annoyed by the author's writing as I try to deliver his good points.
I get through almost half of the points made in the article, but talked and ranted so much that I'll now have to do a Part 2 on this one.
Enjoy your day and believe in yourself. I believe in you! Keep going! You got this. You can do this.
I also sing you a couple songs by the Beach Boys to lighten our moods.
Welcome back, and here we are in the new year, still alive and kickin'. And in your mom's case, dickin'. Sorry that I took a week off but not sorry, because I took a good break to go down to LA and do some comedy. Now. On to what we are here for.
Are you ready to believe in yourself in this new year and decade? The fact that you are checking out a podcast featuring personal development themes makes me already believe in YOU.
There is something in you that is at least curious about one or more of my little challenges here. So, I believe in you because I feel that you believe in you, even if you don't think so!
Join me as I read (and interject my commentary on) an article I found on self-belief that covers the basics and adds a few new perspectives as well.
Can you go stand in front of the mirror and say, "I love you, you sweet, sexy son-of-a-bitch”?
You might be suffering from low self-confidence and a lack of self-love.
If the thought of going to the mirror and looking yourself in the eyes and saying I love you makes you cringe... we have work to do.
(By the way...the sound is annoyingly loud/distorted at first in the podcast but mellows down and improves. I used a different recording method and it shows. Sorry.)
I'm in the same boat but in general, I tend to think I am a pretty confident person. That doesn't mean I don't still have work to do.
Not being able to look in the mirror and shower yourself with positive self-affirmations easily means that you might feel like you are not good enough, not attractive enough, haven't accomplished enough in life, aren't capable of doing enough due to whatever limitation (self-imposed or not), not making enough money, not a good enough parent, partner, son/daughter, sibling, friend, employee, leader, or can't be enough of what you think you are "supposed to be" or what your damn parents want you to be.
You might be consumed with guilt, grief, shame, or blame. Have you thought about that? There is a way out of these feelings! I promise.
We are going to start working on this together. So come back.
I love you and I believe in you and I think you are fucking awesome.
I am your friend and coach now.
Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Agnostics!
Have a listen and learn how to deal with stress over the holidays. Or just listen and be entertained.
Or just listen and stroke your Christmas salami and your little salted nuts.
I give you a few more video recommendations for positive mindset conditioning / affirmations. These really help me get to sleep and calm me down and help me focus on positivity and self-belief.
Use a neti-pot and do some deep breathing exercises with your affirmations. But use distilled water and not tap water, or you could die.
I made it to 50 episodes! WOOO! Today I cover stressful holidays, a video recommendation for self-healing, and the rest of my non-military takes on Patrick Bet-David's military lessons for millionaires.
I don't always stay on subject but I did finally get through the list!
Stay tuned for our next critical challenge:
Self-Love, Self-Acceptance, and Self-Belief!
Join me for that on X-mas Eve.
I couldn't remember this quote during the podcast, but here it is:
I give you specific goal-setting homework as I take you on my nightmarish Silicon Valley commute.
We will just have to finish going through my non-military takes on military lessons for millionaires/entrepreneurs in the next episode.
We will then move onto the next challenge, which is revealed in this episode...
Get in here!
(You may get annoyed by the mic cord sounds again, so try to block it out or skip this episode. I was driving. Sorry.)
After a completely unrelated Christmas song...
Sexy talk time, guys. I have a goal for ya, why don't you bust a nut or two or six?
It's time for the weekend, which means it's time to get wild, baby.
I tried to continue Part 3 of my non-military takes on military lessons for success/entrepreneurs/millionaires, but then digressed down a sexual cougarhole.
ENJOY! Thanks for checking out my salacious and wacky podcast, baby!
Wild Times with Susan Maletta finally brings you a wild time.
Join me for:
If I can't motivate you, or entertain ya, then perhaps look within for your answers and inspiration, or .... try a different podcast, or like, fuck off?
I don't know...
In Part 2 (the next podcast), I will go through the rest of the 19 good military habits and my take on them. Stay tuned for that.
Let's get ready to have a great week!
P.S. I like your muscular bottom. Keep up the good work, soldier. Oohrah!
On my rainy commute home, I try to get you to:
Oh yeah, btw....I also occasionally talk about very personal, sometimes intimate subjects because I don't filter myself, so you have been warned (teased)?
Thanks for being part of my journey to improve and find happiness and success in this short and precious life. I know I am often negative, so this seems hypocritical, but I’m trying to grow. We are in this together, you fuckin' asshole. ;-)
Thank you for being sexy and wild.
Join me as I summarize the habits and principles discussed in this well-known personal development book by Stephen Covey.
What does this have to do with goal setting?
Just listen and find out, will ya? This is one of my more serious podcasts but you need to hear this shit.
These are the fundamentals of how to become even better and more effective than you already are. Let's figure out how to get to the next level. Employing these habits can help.
What is the next level for you in life?
Don't be a tool... get your planning tools in order. Having the right tools makes goal planning not only easier, but more enjoyable and fun.
We'll go over:
I did forget to mention using Google Calendar and/or MS Outlook in addition to any of these tools/systems because getting automatic alerts on your phone is really useful. It's just not as fun (and visually stimulating) as using actual hard-copy planners.
I will try to work on not moving my mic cord around while I talk next time. You can hear it sometimes and it's fuckin' irritating. My bad.
Next time we will talk about the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Steven Covey. I will summarize the habits and main principles for ya.
Here are the pens I told you about (no, these are not affiliate links and I don't profit whatsoever. I just like these pens).
Warning: I sound like an uptight bitch in this episode (because I am). Hey, sometimes I am! We all are!
Also I was in a huge rush and wanted to cover a lot of material. So I may sound a bit harsher, and a bit more abrupt in this one, but I carry a good message if you want to trudge through the mud of my grumpy personality today.
On the next podcast, we will talk about planning mechanisms such as planners, bullet journals, dashboard pages, and vision boards.
Let's keep the progress going towards planning our wonderfully successful and happy lives ahead.
Until next time.... think about what outcomes you want this year and next year.
(Some of those outcomes should include some wild times. Otherwise why do we work all day? Work hard, play hard.)
Love ya, darlin'.
Thanks for comin' around.
- Your mom's atrophied, prolapsed vagina
- Goal setting (including the goal of not having a vag like your mom's)
- Visualization (visualizing yourself having a better vag than your mom's)
- Plans for the rest of 2019 and into 2020 (plan kegels)
I drop some knowledge on how to visualize yourself succeeding and exceeding the goals that you've set. I drop it like your mom's expansive vagina dropped you when you were born.
Join me as we continue learning how to set goals. And of course I talk about my personal life off and on throughout.
Here is a template I created that I've been using in the mornings to plan my time and goals in the short-term, mid-term, and long-term. This is just a start. We will add on longer-term goals later.
Morning planning and goals check-in:
(You can modify this to fit your life.)
What meetings/appointments do you have today and tomorrow?
What are your three highest priority tasks today at work?
What are your three highest priority tasks today at home (personal life)?
What are the low-hanging fruit (easy or fast tasks) that you can get over-with today?
(List them and add checkboxes to check them off as you complete them.)
What are your 3 highest priorities this week at work?
What are your 3 highest priorities this week (non-work/personal)?
This month at work:
This month personally:
This quarter at work:
This quarter personally:
This year at work:
This year personally:
What can you be grateful for? (Make a list.)
How can you exceed expectations for yourself? (Make a list.)
How can you exceed expectations at your job? (Make a list.)
How can you exceed expectations in your fitness/health routine? (Make a list.)
How can you exceed expectations with friends/family? (Make a list.)
Other Priorities/Action Items with Milestones & Target Dates: (Make a complete list with milestones and due dates.)
Just copy and paste this whole section of lists into your e-mail calendar as a recurring appointment "Daily planning" at some half hour time slot that works for you every morning.
And modify it to fit your life and what you want to focus on, and how you want to focus on it. This is just what has been working for me.
As long as you do SOME type of planning in the morning before distractions take you...you are on the right track.
I have my slot allocated in my calendar daily, Monday through Friday, from 9 - 9:30 am, which is right after I've gotten to work and had my coffee and can think clearly about how I want to navigate my day for success.
Setting goals gives you purpose, which is good for managing/fighting depression.
Add value to yourself and someone else by focusing on goal setting.
In this podcast I read an article that is poorly written by a doctor, and it really annoys me. But the content is good.
In this episode I check in with you after my absence and talk about whatever comes to mind, including: