Can you go stand in front of the mirror and say, "I love you, you sweet, sexy son-of-a-bitch”?
You might be suffering from low self-confidence and a lack of self-love.
If the thought of going to the mirror and looking yourself in the eyes and saying I love you makes you cringe... we have work to do.
(By the way...the sound is annoyingly loud/distorted at first in the podcast but mellows down and improves. I used a different recording method and it shows. Sorry.)
I'm in the same boat but in general, I tend to think I am a pretty confident person. That doesn't mean I don't still have work to do.
Not being able to look in the mirror and shower yourself with positive self-affirmations easily means that you might feel like you are not good enough, not attractive enough, haven't accomplished enough in life, aren't capable of doing enough due to whatever limitation (self-imposed or not), not making enough money, not a good enough parent, partner, son/daughter, sibling, friend, employee, leader, or can't be enough of what you think you are "supposed to be" or what your damn parents want you to be.
You might be consumed with guilt, grief, shame, or blame. Have you thought about that? There is a way out of these feelings! I promise.
We are going to start working on this together. So come back.
I love you and I believe in you and I think you are fucking awesome.
I am your friend and coach now.
Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Agnostics!
Have a listen and learn how to deal with stress over the holidays. Or just listen and be entertained.
Or just listen and stroke your Christmas salami and your little salted nuts.
I give you a few more video recommendations for positive mindset conditioning / affirmations. These really help me get to sleep and calm me down and help me focus on positivity and self-belief.
Use a neti-pot and do some deep breathing exercises with your affirmations. But use distilled water and not tap water, or you could die.
I made it to 50 episodes! WOOO! Today I cover stressful holidays, a video recommendation for self-healing, and the rest of my non-military takes on Patrick Bet-David's military lessons for millionaires.
I don't always stay on subject but I did finally get through the list!
Stay tuned for our next critical challenge:
Self-Love, Self-Acceptance, and Self-Belief!
Join me for that on X-mas Eve.
I couldn't remember this quote during the podcast, but here it is:
I give you specific goal-setting homework as I take you on my nightmarish Silicon Valley commute.
We will just have to finish going through my non-military takes on military lessons for millionaires/entrepreneurs in the next episode.
We will then move onto the next challenge, which is revealed in this episode...
Get in here!
(You may get annoyed by the mic cord sounds again, so try to block it out or skip this episode. I was driving. Sorry.)
After a completely unrelated Christmas song...
Sexy talk time, guys. I have a goal for ya, why don't you bust a nut or two or six?
It's time for the weekend, which means it's time to get wild, baby.
I tried to continue Part 3 of my non-military takes on military lessons for success/entrepreneurs/millionaires, but then digressed down a sexual cougarhole.
ENJOY! Thanks for checking out my salacious and wacky podcast, baby!
Wild Times with Susan Maletta finally brings you a wild time.
Join me for:
If I can't motivate you, or entertain ya, then perhaps look within for your answers and inspiration, or .... try a different podcast, or like, fuck off?
I don't know...
In Part 2 (the next podcast), I will go through the rest of the 19 good military habits and my take on them. Stay tuned for that.
Let's get ready to have a great week!
P.S. I like your muscular bottom. Keep up the good work, soldier. Oohrah!
On my rainy commute home, I try to get you to:
Oh yeah, btw....I also occasionally talk about very personal, sometimes intimate subjects because I don't filter myself, so you have been warned (teased)?
Thanks for being part of my journey to improve and find happiness and success in this short and precious life. I know I am often negative, so this seems hypocritical, but I’m trying to grow. We are in this together, you fuckin' asshole. ;-)
Thank you for being sexy and wild.
Join me as I summarize the habits and principles discussed in this well-known personal development book by Stephen Covey.
What does this have to do with goal setting?
Just listen and find out, will ya? This is one of my more serious podcasts but you need to hear this shit.
These are the fundamentals of how to become even better and more effective than you already are. Let's figure out how to get to the next level. Employing these habits can help.
What is the next level for you in life?
Don't be a tool... get your planning tools in order. Having the right tools makes goal planning not only easier, but more enjoyable and fun.
We'll go over:
I did forget to mention using Google Calendar and/or MS Outlook in addition to any of these tools/systems because getting automatic alerts on your phone is really useful. It's just not as fun (and visually stimulating) as using actual hard-copy planners.
I will try to work on not moving my mic cord around while I talk next time. You can hear it sometimes and it's fuckin' irritating. My bad.
Next time we will talk about the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Steven Covey. I will summarize the habits and main principles for ya.
Here are the pens I told you about (no, these are not affiliate links and I don't profit whatsoever. I just like these pens).
Warning: I sound like an uptight bitch in this episode (because I am). Hey, sometimes I am! We all are!
Also I was in a huge rush and wanted to cover a lot of material. So I may sound a bit harsher, and a bit more abrupt in this one, but I carry a good message if you want to trudge through the mud of my grumpy personality today.
On the next podcast, we will talk about planning mechanisms such as planners, bullet journals, dashboard pages, and vision boards.
Let's keep the progress going towards planning our wonderfully successful and happy lives ahead.
Until next time.... think about what outcomes you want this year and next year.
(Some of those outcomes should include some wild times. Otherwise why do we work all day? Work hard, play hard.)
Love ya, darlin'.
Thanks for comin' around.
- Your mom's atrophied, prolapsed vagina
- Goal setting (including the goal of not having a vag like your mom's)
- Visualization (visualizing yourself having a better vag than your mom's)
- Plans for the rest of 2019 and into 2020 (plan kegels)
I drop some knowledge on how to visualize yourself succeeding and exceeding the goals that you've set. I drop it like your mom's expansive vagina dropped you when you were born.
Join me as we continue learning how to set goals. And of course I talk about my personal life off and on throughout.
Here is a template I created that I've been using in the mornings to plan my time and goals in the short-term, mid-term, and long-term. This is just a start. We will add on longer-term goals later.
Morning planning and goals check-in:
(You can modify this to fit your life.)
What meetings/appointments do you have today and tomorrow?
What are your three highest priority tasks today at work?
What are your three highest priority tasks today at home (personal life)?
What are the low-hanging fruit (easy or fast tasks) that you can get over-with today?
(List them and add checkboxes to check them off as you complete them.)
What are your 3 highest priorities this week at work?
What are your 3 highest priorities this week (non-work/personal)?
This month at work:
This month personally:
This quarter at work:
This quarter personally:
This year at work:
This year personally:
What can you be grateful for? (Make a list.)
How can you exceed expectations for yourself? (Make a list.)
How can you exceed expectations at your job? (Make a list.)
How can you exceed expectations in your fitness/health routine? (Make a list.)
How can you exceed expectations with friends/family? (Make a list.)
Other Priorities/Action Items with Milestones & Target Dates: (Make a complete list with milestones and due dates.)
Just copy and paste this whole section of lists into your e-mail calendar as a recurring appointment "Daily planning" at some half hour time slot that works for you every morning.
And modify it to fit your life and what you want to focus on, and how you want to focus on it. This is just what has been working for me.
As long as you do SOME type of planning in the morning before distractions take you...you are on the right track.
I have my slot allocated in my calendar daily, Monday through Friday, from 9 - 9:30 am, which is right after I've gotten to work and had my coffee and can think clearly about how I want to navigate my day for success.
Setting goals gives you purpose, which is good for managing/fighting depression.
Add value to yourself and someone else by focusing on goal setting.
In this podcast I read an article that is poorly written by a doctor, and it really annoys me. But the content is good.
In this episode I check in with you after my absence and talk about whatever comes to mind, including:
I complain about the challenge, tell you about my sectional couch, and blab about random shit.
I also admit defeat in this challenge, but I am not giving up.
I still am getting *some* stuff done. Just not as much as I had hoped. Not nearly. And not consistently. And it's weighing me down.
It's the albatross around my neck. Not a good look.
I must conquer this overwhelmed feeling with progress.
Why is it that every time I attempt to get organized and master this closet, I all of a sudden feel SUPER tired and just want to lay down and watch movies?! UGH!
Our minds sure are powerful, aren't they? I make myself tired and sap my own energy from dreading simple tasks that would make life easier.
Let's push through the feelings that weigh us down and force ourselves to get the boring tasks and errands overwith. My paperwork is not done and I know I have nice nuggets of jokes in there. There is tax-related stuff I need. Insurance documents. I need everything to be online and it's not.
Join me or not. This one isn't really helpful in any way.
I am very likable so if for some weird reason you don't like me, please feel free to suck a dick.
If you DO like me, please join me for this podcast. It's made for you.
Let's get wild.
I tried to get organized and I meant well. Does that count?
Hear me criticize myself about my last episode (yes I heard the squeaking and rustling) and ramble on and on about whatever tickles my bean, such as my hot new neighbor who recently moved in.
Warning: I messed up the audio on this one too! I sound a bit far away like I'm not even holding the mic.
It actually sounds like shit and you might want to pass on this podcast altogether.
I didn't have the input set up properly on my audio recorder (goddamnit) and was recording from the mic inputs on the top of the recorder and not the USB mic like I thought I was using.
The day is young and I STILL plan to organize a couple areas today and make progress. How about you?
What can you do today to make a dent in the chores but also make time for fun later?
Let's think on it and take action today.
Pick a small area to organize or declutter with me for just ten minutes. We may not see a benefit right away, but we will feel a sense of accomplishment!
Spend some time with me as I start to tackle a junk closet. I try to stay focused but it doesn't work out too well.
Join me as I struggle through this horrid chore.
This is not an easy challenge. Ugh.
Fuckin' lame. But worth it!
I'm back to continue the challenge with you to get our crap organized so we can feel a sense of relief from knowing where everything is.
My current issue is power cord organization, and making myself dispose of old electronics and appliances that I KNOW I won't use but won't part with.
I recommend some videos that help motivate me to organize/declutter my space. These ALWAYS work for me.
Join me as I continue this very challenging challenge! Let's take actions daily towards this.
I'm with you. Next episode, we will declutter and organize an area together. Think of what that will be...
Don't give up! You can do it!
My disturbed mind comes out in this one, so be prepared. I really don't stay on topic whatsoever.
A reminder that although I am doing some serious challenges that are meant to develop good habits, I am not to be taken too seriously here. This is a comedy podcast, after all.
I pretty much fuck around the entire time and digress down different paths. I really enjoy doing whatever I want in this podcast.
But I do hope to bring some useful and interesting information to you regarding getting organized and decluttering!
Join me, sexy buns.
Don't leave me alone in organization land?
We are going to start small. We are going to think about why we should get organized and visualize all the time it will save us and the beautiful outcome it will provide.
I encourage you to think about three areas you could focus on over the next two weeks of this challenge. Or, pick one daily habit to focus on.
But I want you to think about the *why*. Why do you want to get organized? What's the benefit to you and/or others around you? What does it solve? What does it free you up to do?
Don't forget the *what*. What do you need/want to organize?
The *when* is NOW and throughout the next two weeks. The who is YOU, baby. You and me, baby. Let's do it!
Topics on the podcast tonight:
And, as usual, I pepper the conversation with digressions and random observations. I read another article and ridicule it slightly yet praise it as well.
Join me on OUR LAST DAY of this challenge!
Then tomorrow we start getting organized. Join me.
Let's work toward and plan some wild times. What are you doing to plan some fun in your life? And did you write out what you are grateful for today? It's a good practice and lifts the depression cloud.
I read an article for you on search optimization fundamentals that I think can help you think about different ways to make your website better. This can apply to comedians or anyone who has a blog or website.
Have you been creating comedy videos or merchandise that you want to sell? You need a website on which to sell it.
Are you trying to promote your comedy shows through your website? You need a search-optimized website. The goal is to attract and keep as many people as possible coming to your site.
Does this sound boring to you? If it does, then money and expansion and growth sound boring to you, too.
Let's improve our SEO. Let's learn more about it and take actions on it.
If you don't care about website optimization, you'll want to give today's podcast a HARD PASS. But the sound is better than yesterday! I am using a microphone today.
I hope you have a fantastic Saturday and rest of your weekend!
Stay sexy and wild.